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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Smart Business Proposal

I picked this from an email that a friend of mine Mitul Shah sent me and thought it wise to share it with you. Hilarious but so true.

 

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else... 



FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) - SridhaR

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me
screw you. But the girl said NO.



FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) - SridhaR
Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on 
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the 
time you pick it up. " 

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) - SridhaR
She thought for a moment and said that she would have 
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story. 

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the 
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) - SridhaR


FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) - SridhaR
So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.
FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) - SridhaR
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.
 
FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) - SridhaR
She responded, "The bastard used coins!"

FunAndFunOnly (www.mails4u.net.tc) - SridhaR


Management lesson: 
Always consider a business proposal
in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

Friday, November 13, 2009

24 years on, and Kenya still waits for Reforms..... (sic!)

.... but until when?


24 years on from days when KANU was 'baba na mama', those days when former President Daniel arap Moi was the in-your-face-kinda-prez a.k.a Fuata Nyayo, Kenyans still wait for much needed Constitutional Reforms that have for so long eluded their motherland at the expense of cheap, parochial and devisive political machinations.

Since then, blood has been shed, political careers ruined, children who were born then, now full grown adults (24 years old), political dispensations experienced, founding political party Kanu rooted out of Kenya's political streamline, Kenya shaken to its foundations via earth shuttering scandals that would make leading international scandals wince in sheer shame and envy, to the most recent international shame via election violence ochestrated by election thiefs and political fraudsters, Kenyans still wait, albeit with bated breathe, for real reforms to settle in and maybe add more plates of ugali on their dinner tables!

When i ask, when will all this political somersaulting really end and give Kenya and Kenyans a break for better things to come?
pic courtesy of @whynnot. Follwo them on twitter

Naomi Campbell in Tanzania for White Ribbon Charity


Super model Naomi Campbell is in Dar es Salaam Tanzania with her billionaire Russion boyfriend Vladislav Doronin for a charity project organised by the UK's first lady Sarah Brown at the Moevenpick Hotel. Naomi, 39, and  who is ambassador for Sarah's White Ribbon Alliance charity, which raises the awareness of infant mortality, has been vacationing in Zanzibar all week.


Last night she did her celebrated catwalk performance at the event which was graced by Tanzania's First Lady Mama Salma Kikwete, (centre), Zambia's First lady Mama Thandiwe Banda (left), and Tanzania's immediate former First Lady, Mama Anna Mkapa, (right), the White Ribbon Alliance country chair.

Invitations to the charity were my telephone invititation and Naomi catwalked with models representive in the Face of Africa Challenge.
 (mama Kikwete pic courtesy of Issa Michuzi)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

(Black Magic): Malawi man 'blocks' ex wife from having sex.... woooow

No more sex-capades..... ouch....



courtesy of my twitter friend Mwiwa Check out his blog.....

Paint it as is....hahahaha

Following instructions to the letter! hahahaha


Friday, November 6, 2009

Alex Ferguson targets Stamford Bridge Improvements...

Sir Alex Ferguson wants to see a return to the days when he enjoyed trips to Stamford Bridge and United prospered with an excellent record.

The last 10 fixtures against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge bear a stark contrast with the 10 that came before them. In the last 10, United have won only once, drawn four and lost five. Before it, the stats read: won five, drew three, lost two. Those figures are undoubtedly skewed by Chelsea’s rise to prominence as title contenders, but still, the boss naturally prefers the earlier statistics.

“We would like to improve our record there,” said Sir Alex. “It’s not been that great in the last few years. We’ve had a couple of draws but nothing more than that. We hope to improve on that. It’s strange, we used to have a terrific record at Stamford Bridge, but in the last few years we’ve let it slip. We have to get our act together. But the players realise it’s a big game and their performance is going to be important.”

Even at this early stage, the game will be discussed as potentially decisive in the title race. Sir Alex doesn’t think it’s as cut and dried as that, but there is a marked difference between going top or being five points behind Chelsea on Sunday night.

“It doesn’t come into my thinking that it's a league decider,” said Sir Alex. “But it could be an important game. Towards the end of the season, you might think, ’I’m glad we got a result at Chelsea’. But it’s difficult to pinpoint the importance of Sunday in relation to where we’ll be in May.”

courtesy of manutd.com

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Kamande and his prostitute daughter....hahaha

....what??

"Where have you been all
this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a
line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you
call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you put your Mom
through??!!"

The daughter, crying:
"Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."

"WHAT?????? Out of
here, you shameless harlot, sinner, you're a disgrace to this family - I
don't ever want to see you again!"

"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came
back to give Mom this fur coat and title to a mansion, a
savings account certificate of $5 million for my little
brother, and for you, Daddy, this gold Rolex, the spanking new
BMW that's parked outside and a lifetime membership to the Country Club ..

an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new
yacht in the Riviera, and ...

"Now what was it you said you had become?"

Girl, crying again: Sniff, sniff "A prostitute Dad!" .. Sniff, sniff

"Oh! Gee - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said

"A Protestant".

Monday, November 2, 2009

Kenya on the brink of a malaria vaccine break through......

.... but ......  

Was reading some interesting piece in my favorite daily ‘The Standard’, on of Kenya’s premier newspapers, on how leading Kenyan medical scientists are on brink of making a major breakthrough in the fight against killer malaria. The ‘story’ goes that these medical honchos are on the brink of unveiling a malaria vaccine that will stop the death of 90 children who die of malaria every day and stem the loss of 170 million working days lost to malaria annually in Kenya! Amazing stuff, but will this Kenyan (read African) ‘major break-through’ be allowed to be adopted in the World Health Organization journals seeing that the worlds leading pharmaceutical companies’ profits are at stake here?

My mind quickly thinks about the American situation where major pharmaceutical companies and medical lobbyists are literally holding the US government at ransom in regard to President Obama’s plan of offering public funded and affordable healthcare solutions to the very common and poor American who cannot afford to Medicare and medic-aid! The American medical ‘hostage situation’ in my opinion is all about the profits that these huge pharmaceutical companies will definitely loose when Obama’s plan comes to light!

Fast Forward to Kenya: That these same pharmaceutical companies, that are said to have partnered in formulating this vaccine, and who have provided Africa with umpteen malaria vaccines, could basically allow the Kenyan vaccine to be adopted into medical circles is, to me a real pipe dream and a far cry from the truth! What would literally stop these honchos from spending billions of dollars on projects that will never see the light of day, just in order that they ‘keep tabs’ with what’s going on the ground and be seen to be ‘involved in partnering the break through? ?’

And with Kenya’s lobbying history and record for supporting its own speaking loudly for itself, I highly doubt (and I risk being labeled a pessimist here!) that this grand idea will see the light of day, sorry to say so!

Malaria, killing up to 3,000 people every day in Africa, has been a real cash cow for these pharmaceutical honchos who have ‘colluded’ to ensure that Malaria I never going to be wiped out of Africa, not in this lifetime. From manufacturing vaccines, and telling us how they are ‘free’, to the distribution of malaria treated bed nets to all the services and components that revolve around Malaria, people have been happy seeing those profits sore year in year out. And then some gizzer African scientists in Kenya, in collaboration with some medical world players, ‘suddenly’ discover some vaccine that will eat into their profits, and they are not supposed to ‘kill’ that plan like yesterday, is a picture I can’t fathom not happening!

And with many ‘corrupt’ countries in Africa spending a huge percentage of their health budgets on malaria, this might just be a ripe avenue for these honchos to exploit in ‘killing’ this Kenya dream that is bound to save millions of lives.

They say the new vaccine, named RTS,S is a result of ‘partnership’ between leading African institutions that include Kenya Medical Research Institute (Kemri), America’s Center for Disease Control (CDC), the Path Malaria Vaccine Initiative and GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) Biological, with the support of Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

The vaccine, which is in the third phase of trial and has shown efficacy levels of 53 per cent, has taken more than 20 years of research and development. There is no proven vaccine for malaria to date.

Lets wait and see…..